An Intimate expression by Rupali Vartak Churi
What my heart wants;
What can it want?
What should it want?
Am I even in the position to pay attention to my heart, when most of the struggle today is to just BREATHE n LIVE!
Do desires and wants have any place in these times of despair?
I feel guilty for being privileged enough to think beyond just existing and living…
I am split into two, my alter ego says “if you don’t listen to your heart is it even worth existing or living”?
It tells me to go ahead and just LIVE and desire every day and to make sure I fulfill most of those desires…
It tells me that the only reason I survived the first wave was to live a fulfilling day,
To smile,
To talk to my plants,
To talk to strangers with incompetent hearts.
It tells me to sip my coffee after taking in every whiff of the aroma rising from the cup….that steam inhalation is a must it tells me!
My heart wants to hug every person who is alone in this crowded city.
My heart just wants me to watch a beautiful movie every now and then, and
take photos of the things the movie characters say and share it with friends.
It tells me to share those movies with this world, so that they can escape reality for a couple of hours and live a little more.
My heart wants me to donate some money for a fellow photographer who is detected with a severe kidney issue…
My mind tells me, “but how can you”?
My heart tells me I can cut on the extra budget I have saved for sweets and junk for the family…
My heart and mind agreed and I finally do it.
I am at peace.
My existence has some meaning!
All my heart desires is for my mind and soul to stay in balance
My heart wants to hug every person who is alone in this crowded city.
My mind tells me I am stupid!!!!
My heart sends random messages on whatsapp and waits for their replies…..
Many reply reluctantly…
One of them just pours out his heart…
We set a time and make that call!
That heart is relieved, it feels light and smiles:)
My heart and mind do a quick dance …my existence has some meaning!
I find happiness in writing this and making a good decision.
I scroll thru my photo gallery and find a beautiful capture,
My heart tells me to post it on social media.
My mind tells me what’s the point, only few will see and a handful will like it.
My heart wants the photo to go viral,
My mind tells me I am gonna exist like a miniature Vincent Van Gogh and that not more than a few will appreciate my work.
My heart borrows the Nike tagline and tells me, JUST DO It
I post it, my heart doesn’t get what it wants, and my mind slyly smiles.
While I write this, a popup of a shopping website flashes a yellow polka dot dress.
Ohh my heart wants it, desires it, my mind asks, “me do you need it”?
For once my mind makes some sense
Ohh but I so know that I absolutely don’t need it…
I delete the pop up and continue writing…
I find happiness in writing this and making a good decision.
All my heart desires is for my mind and soul to stay in balance,
for them to fight and make a decision.
All my heart desires is to understand the difference between my needs and wants and in the process to sing along!
All my heart desires is for you to have a smile after you read all the blabbering of my soul and tag me along!
Keep smiling and have another contented day!
